stubborn and temper times two

My person and I are both hot heads and from time to time it escalates to a little more than just yelling one or the other is trying to gain thw upper hamd or keep the other in a specific place. The last time our argument was brutal we were both drunk and i was pissed when i saw his friend just stand back nd watch while i was being tossed to the ground or shoved against the wall or cars. This time it was inside someone's house ... ive been sick for a week and ill i asked was for him to talk to me a little differently and i literally got a big "fuck you" followed by " i hate you" as cold, sick nd tired as i was i tried to leave but he kept blocking me or shoving me away from the door ... his friend (different friend from before) was practically asleep but came out after he heard noises what he saw was me being chocked slammed on to the couch nd slammed in my chest ... excuse my language but all this asshole did was tell us to go back to the room before we woke up his roomate which i was then grabbed by my hair nd throat nd dragged like that back to the room nd slammed on the bed/floor all his friend did was lay back down... it hurt it was happening again and we weren't even drinking we agreed to stay away from alcohol after that incident. Of course im pissed and hurt so admittedly i did slap him a few times after being shoved nd pushed back by my throat. i kept getting up as much as possible until i got smacked too hard in the face where i litteraly saw black and then stars once i got my vision back i see my over 6 foot over 230 lbs with his foot comin right at my ribs only for him to stop nd try and hold me and say hes sorry. All i wanted was for him to talk to me differently i felt sick and even worse after that incident ... im not saying either one of us was in the wrong or right but i made sure i didnt lay hands until he came after me in more than just words.