Gender disappointment..considering gender selection..

I just found out i am expecting my fifth daughter. I love her to bits and i am so glad shes healthy. I know a lot of Moms have difficulty even conceiving their babies so i keep reminding myself, im lucky to have never had to endure a loss.. i am lucky my kids are healthy. I cant help but feel somewhat down though about another girl. I wanted a boy so bad. I am considering the idea of gender selection but its so expensive and i keep thinking well maybe ill have grandsons one day instead. I am not looking to be abused about this, i know it seems like i am selfish or not grateful, i know my post may offend some. I believe its almost selfish and stupid as well to be considering gender selection. My sister lost her baby at 38 weeks and i know how grateful she was to just have a healthy baby after her loss. So please dont judge or bash me... gender disappointment is real... i love my babies so much but i wish i had the chance to have a son. Do you think some women "cant" have a certain gender? I am beginning to wonder as between my sister and I we have 9 girls and no boys

Soo update... i just contacted gender selection people in the US.... MMy husband who has a son with his ex fiance came inside asking what i was doing and i told him and he said im a idiot because its a waste of money. so now im crying my eyes out. a part of me feels so awful that i wish this baby had been a boy, the poor little thing its not her fault and i love her but oh i wish i had a son. my brother in law is over here he has 5 sons 4 daughters and is going on about how i should be grateful for the kids i have. but they have both! its easy for them they have what i want. now im just breakint down crying my eyes out because nobody gets it nobody understands how it hurts me