Are we a thing or a fling?

So I've been talking and getting to know this guy for three months and the other day we had sex for the first time (it was both our first time) during it I only felt pain, and as I began to feel something different he was done and it was over. We didn't use protection so the next day he was persistent about me getting the morning after pill, I wanted to do this anyway. This led me to thinking what we are cos we're not officially together I just assumed we sort of were. I spoke to him about this and he said he doesn't want to hurst me but he doesn't know if he's ready for a relationship. This confused and annoyed me because I though I was losing my virginity to someone I really liked and who liked me back. This apparently wasn't the case. He says he really likes me but I'm not sure if he's just using me for sex. I felt so shit about myself afterwards because I felt stupid for having sex with this guy who I'm not even with and that being my first time. This didn't stop me from going to his house and having sex again. Again I didn't climax although he really tried to get me there we gave up. We still haven't properly spoken about what we are and I feel like i don't have much self respect if I keep just meeting up with him to have sex considering he's my first and I'm not 100% in what I'm doing. I should point out he's really nice and doesn't know what he's doing either, he always asked if I'm okay , and is just a really nice person. What do you guys think? Should I keep speaking to him and sleeping with him or should I stop until he tells me what we are?