I dont want my baby

Monica • Married to my soulmate. Mommy to be

me and my husband have been trying for over a year for a baby. I've had 3 miscarriaged. One at 20wks when I was 16. One at 9wks when I was 19. One earlier this year at 5wks before I turned 21. We decided we were going to file for divorce. I slept with am ex. I informed my husbamd and we decided against a plan B pill together. now I am pregnant. We are back together but I dont want the baby. I'm not excited and I feel like I have to force myself to pretend like I am around his family. My family couldn't care less because 2 of my sister are also pregnant. One of them is 2 weeks further along. And the other is 2 weeks less than me. I have always wanted to be a mother but all I can think about is putting the baby up for adoption. Is this a normal feeling after losing 3 other babies?