Am I wrong or is he? (Long)

Okay so boyfriend troubles.

So back in April I hadn’t seen my boyfriend for a week while he was visiting his dad and friends. I was chill about it, no worries until he sent snapchats of his friends smoking and drinking; I knew he was drinking but didn’t know about smoking. So I asked if he was and he said no (about smoking), so I trusted him. He knows me as the type who hates drugs and smoking all together, I’ve lost relatives and had family members scarred from both. However then he came to see me and of course we kissed and made out and all I could smell was smoke. I asked him about it and he said he swears he didn’t. So I let it go. Then later I messaged him and asked him to do me a favour and not lie to me about it and for the truth. He told me that he did smoke but he didn’t know why he did. Some of my trust was broken but I got over it for us.

This is where it gets worse.

Back in May I think, I couldn’t sleep so I went on my boyfriends phone and looked up my name to see if he ever talked about me to anyone. Well, I found a conversation with a school mate that I wasn’t supposed to see talking about drugs that he had done in March behind my back with him. I was in shock, he talked about being owed fat nugs or something and being so keen for weed and so excited. I just couldn’t believe it, when he met me there was only one time he did drugs and we weren’t dating then so I didn’t care. But he knew how I felt about it. What hurt is that he never told me. When I confronted him the next day he said it was because he was stressed. Throughout the convo, I cried and he cried.

I was so immensely hurt that he could’ve done that to me. It may not be a big deal to some but to me it was. Especially because he yet again lied about it when I asked the first time. It’s caused a lot of problems with our relationship because I cant get over it. I don’t know how to.

It’s December now and he’s moved an hour away at the start of the month. Due to a knee injury I got in July I’ve been waiting to move until I got surgery but that’s been postponed so I’m moving end of January anyways. But there’s a friend who lives down the road from him; his best friend actually. He was with my boyfriend when he smoked, knew about the drugs and has on occasions pushed for my boyfriend to lie to me about going to parties and being with girls. He’s spending a lot of time with his friend and I’ve lost most trust in him. I don’t like him being around this friend and I have told him about it because I thought communication was key. But so far nothing has come from it, he knows I cry myself to sleep still because of it and that I don’t trust him with his friend. He says he’s sorry but he does it again over and over. He promised he would look for a job and not spend all his time with his friend but so far none of its been true. I went and visited for a week but his friend tried contacting him and coming over a lot but didn’t stay because I was there and he knew boundaries at least.

To be clear, he has told me that he hasn’t done drugs or smoked since then, I just have a hard time believing it because of his friend.

I’m just wondering if I’m the one in the wrong for being angry and upset with him. I admit I do lose my temper with him sometimes and blow up, but I apologise after and I regret it a lot. I don’t want to break up with him or lose him but we fight about it a lot. I just need some advice on how to cope. Sorry for it being so long..