I've known my MIL for the past 15 years and through that time she has been a narcissistic-sociopath, gaslighting-others, always-a-victim, what-have-you-done-for-me-lately kind of person. She corrected me when I first married her son and I called her "mom" instead of her first name, meanwhile golden child (BIL)'s GIRLFRIEND was told to call her "mom" while they were dating and the GF straight up said "No, I don't want to". Anywho, she didn't come to my engagement party, bridal shower, wedding, baby shower, daughter's birth, birthdays, thanksgivings, Christmases, Easter, or really whenever invited anywhere by myself or the hubby etc. Whenever her other children ask her to visit them she makes the effort and is even planning to go to golden child's wedding in June after not going to her son's (my husband) or her daughter's (my SIL). I have no problem with this, not jealous or upset, completely whatever about that. What DOES hurt me is that I asked her to come to a small leave/homecoming party for my husband who's been deployed for over 6 months. He's been thinking about taking leave in the next few months. And it's not like I'm not giving her any notice since I've been talking about it since he's left. She straight up said no and she doesn't think she'll be able to make it because she hasn't been feeling well. We don't even have the exact dates yet and he hasn't been approved yet and I said it might not be for a few months and she said "Well I don't know, we'll see. I don't know how 'golden child' would feel about it." ... To be honest, I haven't bothered to ask her to things for a few months because the answer is always rejection and it hurts. I was raised to be respectful to my elders and I have always treated her with the utmost respect and I have never talked back to her (even when hurt or angry). Well we got into an argument and I ended up expressing how I felt about it. She just diminished it and kept saying I was purposely taking things the wrong way and she didn't apologize... Then she said that her BIL, BIL's Fiancé, SIL, SIL's Husband, and My husband all understand and it's just me who doesn't. I don't know what to say about that. They understand she isn't going to change at this point but SIL, her husband, and my husband all are hurt by her on the daily. My husband is always the scapegoat and he's learned to just spend time with her very infrequently. SIL and her husband have tried to keep up appearances but they fight the entire time they spend with MIL. What do I do? I feel like I have no backbone in an argument because I wasn't raised to talk back. But this can't go on this way. I feel so hurt. My husband has told me we'll be going No Contact with her if she keeps it up. But I don't know if that's the best idea (I don't want to keep my daughter from knowing his family). Help!