Wanted some opinions, this is the first I've done this. This thread gets looong.

I'm 19, 20 in February, in college, but living at home. Scholarship and some loans take care of most of it, my mom covers the relatively small rest (for private). I work part time with an on-campus paid internship. Can't drive, but dad's kind enough to drive.

I'm the eldest of 2, in my first serious relationship (2nd overall) and it's been going fabulously- a little over a year. My bf is extremely respectful and considerate of my pace, my comfort, and those around him when the question comes to alone time. In the technical sense I lost my virginity to him, though the societal importance of a measured "purity" is bullshit.

Raised Roman Catholic, guilt's a big ol' deal in my family. Couldn't go to my mom for open talk, I've got some Conservatives here. Mom is totally against birth control for me. I've only ever done oral for this reason. I'm currently arranging for an obgyn appointment to check out a possible ovarian issue (gotta love genetics!) and get some birth control.

Bf got me through a lot of personal demons in working out my sexuality, a lot of tears and fear and guilt, but I'm in a better place.

Family has issues. Got grandma the bitter divorcee, Mom and Dad still married but very unhappily, and politics make the home hell. Distrust of men and lasting relationships, which is understandable to a point, skepticism is important. Just a lot of distrust of others and protectiveness.

A LOT OF EXPLAINING THUS FAR, BUT WE'RE GETTING TO IT- I JUST WANT TO GIVE A FAIR PAINTING OF THE ISSUE

Compared to bf's family, mine comes off as chilly- they always invite me to stay with them in NorCal, always gifts and always invited to dinner when they're in town and a really nice and paid for trip to Disneyland. My folks have gone on maybe three excursions with him (granted, one was a theme park trip) and the occasional greeting. I feel like it looks bad and offensive- is this just me? The other feels like more effort.

And when I do get invited to go upstate, even for a few days, my Mom flat out tells me I cannot go. I tell her I wouldn't "do anything" (why would I be careless/bold enough to screw him in his parent's house, or do so without protection?) .

Is this reasonable at my age, for her to have a say in this?

Is my frustration justified- I know I'm their first, and it's hard to see me get older, etc.- or am I the crazy one for asking?

My Bf is a good person, and my best friend, and all I want is to be able to see where he grew up and enjoy his company.

I appreciate their concern, but I really think I should be able to choose for myself. I would appreciate any takes on the issue and I applaud you valiant and patient enough to read through. Much love!