Should I tell my husband to rehome the dog?

Question

I’m sorry it’s so long. I was hesitant to get a dog in August when my son was 3 months old but my husband really wanted one. The dog is a basset hound. My husband researched them and they were recommended as apartment dogs. We live on a ground floor apartment so to take the puppy out during the day I put the baby in the stroller and we go for a short walk with him around the complex. It has been nice to be forced to get out a little bit honestly. But the pattern as of the last two months has been this: husband leaves at 7 AM and comes home at 7 PM. I am alone with a baby and a puppy and I’m expected to clean and cook for 12 hours a day 5-6 Days a week and I am losing my shit. The dog wants out every hour, he wants to play with the cat while the baby is trying to nap. The baby doesn’t sleep for shit night or day which means I don’t sleep for shit. Im trying to get a schedule going for my son and I can’t with constant dog interruptions. I’m exhausted and I’m having an extremely difficult time focusing on anything other then my son. I wake up tired and already on edge and the dog puts me over the edge consistently every day. I described it to my husband as all I do all day is yell at the dog and grind my teeth. On top of it, now my husband is talking about having another baby. Which I would love but I can’t handle my shit now there’s no way I can add in another infant in my current zombie state. I acknowledge the dog is not entirely to blame, he’s just a puppy but I need to get myself together before this lack of sleep/depression/frustration starts taking over for good. I have discussed this to death with my husband just says “oh I’ll work with him blah blah blah” but to be honest he’s well behaved. The many daily walks we take have made him excellent on the leash and he sleeps a fair amount and chews on just his toys for the most part. He’s a great dog. But this dynamic is not working for me. It has turned into I take care of the dog all day and my husband takes him to go potty once at night. I feel I was a great dog mom pre baby and now I’m a great mom to a baby but I can’t comfortably and sanely manage both right now in our current situation. I would never get rid of the puppy without telling my husband. I don’t want to be “those people” that get rid of their puppy’s after they lose the cute but I feel I will fail at changing my outlook and spiral further down into the depths if I don’t change something and try to take control back. I’m fine admitting we made a mistake in getting a puppy while being first time parents. I guess I’m just asking for advice. Is it awful to basically tell my husband we’re rehoming him and not give him a choice?

Answer

No. Tell your husband to actually start working with him since he wanted the dog. As the puppy grows, he’ll get less annoying and needy. Make it your husbands responsibility when he gets home.

Answer

I’ll try to be as non judgemental as possible after this comment. It was very irresponsible to get a dog especially a puppy in those circumstances. I know you said you were hesitant but you shouldn’t have agreed to get one knowing you wouldn’t be capable of taking care of it properly. I’ve owned a basset hound in the past and I know how much work they can be. This type of thing I find really annoying and unfortunate because it’s not fair to move around a dog (or any other pet) because of someone’s thoughtless actions. A pet is supposed to be a forever member of a loving family. 
In your case yes I would absolutely rehome the puppy. It will only stress you out more over time especially with a newborn! Babies are hard enough to take care of without the extra responsibility. Your husband doesn’t understand because he’s working the majority of the time and you’re the one stuck at home trying to juggle a million things at once. I completely understand why you feel so overwhelmed and frustrated. Rehoming the puppy will benefit both you and the puppy in the long term. Eventually maybe you’ll be more prepared for a dog in the future once things have settled down. Hopefully is a lesson learned

Answer

As much as I think why the trick did you let your husband convince you to get a puppy with a newborn. Lol. I also think YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND SANITY MEANS MORE THAN KEEPING A PUPPY. anyone who thinks you should suffer is a fucking moron. The dog will be better off with someone who has the time and energy and your mental health needs a break obviously because of the baby moreso than the dog. The dog is just adding to it. You say the dog is well behaved so I don’t foresee a problem finding it a GOOD home. So I don’t see everyone’s problem. The dog will be happier elsewhere in the long run. You do you girl.

Answer

Re home the dog, you obviously do not want it, the dog deserves to be in a home where he will be loved and given proper attention. Im not saying that you aren't doing that now. but something has got to give, and your mental state can't cope with all that is on your plate. so its better to just re home the dog and probably just not have a pet until your done having children.

Answer

a dog is a live time commitment. Suck it up buttercup.

Answer

You got the dog knowing that it would be hard work... It's not fair to just give it up because you knew that this would happen (I mean it's pretty obvious a small baby and a puppy are going to be hard work together and stressful!) in my opinion you shouldn't have got it anyway. That dog could spend its entire life in a pound now purely because you fucked up

Answer

See if you can send the dog to "dog daycare" a day or two a week. They exist and it was a miracle worker when my dog was a puppy and driving me crazy- he would get so much exercise from running with other dogs he would just come home and not want to move for 2 days. That would be my advice in the short term just to give yourself a break and get your sanity back. Once you're feeling on an even keel then you will be in a better position to decide. Also, your husband 100% needs to step up too.

Answer

That's a tough one! I ended up rehoming our 1yo dog when my baby was 3 months old. It sounds like I was feeling pretty much the same as you and I believe it was 100% the right choice for my sanity. Looking back now (he is 1.5yrs old and I'm pregnant with #2) a small part of me wishes I had stuck it out for another couple months. My son absolutely loves dogs and my husband really wants to try again with another puppy, but I don't think I could handle a puppy, a 2yo and a newborn! 😬 To me it was more important to enjoy being a new mom and enjoy spending time with my baby than to just survive and "get through" each day. You need to do what is right to help you be the best Mom you can and if the puppy is making things that hard... imho Good luck mama!

Answer

My friend had to rehome her much loved dog because she bit one of their toddler nieces and they were ttc (they now have an 18 month old). They spent weeks looking for the right situation and found someone they were comfortable with to take her and it has worked out really well (I think they have even visited her). All of these people acting like it’s the end of the world  to rehome a dog ... it’s not like you’re dropping him off at the kill shelter or letting him out on the side of the road. Spend some time researching a new home and I’m sure you’ll find a loving new owner for him. Best of luck- no need to feel guilty for being human 😊

Answer

Girl. My husband and I adopted a crazy excitable puppy and then found out I was pregnant without TTC. It is hard but we made the commitment to the dog first. She is our first baby and we trained her to calm down a little bit and be more obedient. You sound stressed out more about your baby than your dog. It sucks not sleeping due to having a newborn and it's going to suck for a long time because of sleep regressions and teething. If you think you just cannot handle this dog and you hate it then you must rehome to a good family where your dog will get proper love. No lazy shelter dumping. I think you and your husband are both irresponsible for getting a dog while you were pregnant and then not training your puppy better ahead of time. Your dog doesn't understand what is going on and will not understand being rehomed. You may not love your dog but he loves you and your little family. Get yourself together.

Should I tell my husband to rehome the dog?

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