holidays are not fun anymore

I always been okay with being single or in a relationship through the holidays. it just lately it seams like I get dumbed on holidays. first on my birthday and Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine's day even on Easter, and it just seams like I can only be handled for a few months and then I get dropped like a sack of potatoes. I am bisexual. and new year's this year my girlfriend broke up with me over nothing. and I'm a girl too. so I got dumped and I had to work with tears in my eyes. and lately been thinking about it and been very depressed. if anyone with add or depression and anxiety. I just need to know I'm not alone in how I feel. no one seems to understand in my family. today I thought about taking my life. and not just about the break up. I fell this way my whole life. been to many doctors and they say it's all in my head about what I tell them. I am trying to reach out anyway I can to not end up dead or in jail or on drugs.