I LOST WEIGHT now how do i get happy?!

So 2017 has been one of the most trying years for me. I am in the midst of a divorce of a man I loved for 10 years. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, PCOS, degenerative disc disease, and so many other crazy Health issues... but I have managed to lose 55 lbs since January !!! Now let’s get something right, I am damn proud .... but I’m having a really hard time being happy. My body is hurting due to the Medical issues . But I feel like I’m not giving myself enough credit for how far I’ve come ..... I want to love myself and be happy. I’ve noticed i also let a man in my life who is already showing red flags galore and for whatever reason I’m still here. How do I flip the switch? Where is the switch? I just want to love myself and be happy and I thought losing weight would make me happier, but I notice I’m just mean to myself stil..... and it makes me horribly sad

Even posting these, I know I’m a pretty girl...... I have great style and I’m really proud of the person I am.... but why am I so unhappy 😑 SOS