Bad mom?

Question

I've been supply - demand with my child since he was born. I never put him on a sleep chedule, only fed him when he was was hungry etc etc. At my mother's group and from listening to other mom friends there seems to be this general consensus that you need to be with and watch your baby all. the. time. I've never forsaken a shower or toilet trip for my son (as long as he isn't screaming) and I've never taken him in the shower or toilet with me, even as a newborn. As long as he's in a safe place (crib, play mat) I never worry about leaving him for a few minutes to get things done. My husband and I quite often put him in his room or on the play mat to have a few minutes to ourselves and he's generally happy playing with his toys and rolling around the place. Is it bad that I don't have this instinct to hover over him constantly? I can leave him for half an hour at a time and until he cries for attention he's pretty happy just being alone. He gets lots of attention during the day, I read, play, sing and walk with him and go to mom's group once a week.

Answer

It sounds like your baby is pretty young if he’s still rolling around not crawling. At that age he should be watched all the time. He could very easily get into something a put it in his mouth, or get stuck in something rolling around and suffocate. Babies aren’t pets you can just put in their crate when you leave the house. They not toys you can put away when you need a few minutes to yourself. They’re babies. They require constant supervision. I think your mom group is correct with their assessment. I don’t think it makes you a bad mom to not want to hover, but what you’re talking about isn’t hovering, it’s parenting. Leaving a baby unattended could be considered borderline neglect. You can absolutely leave him in a safe place while you use the restroom. But a half an hour of alone time is excessive.

Answer

I think you’re doing great! I’ve always done the same. I feed when hungry and let them work sleep out instead of trying to add extra stress and schedule it myself. And as for play and leaving them alone. They aren’t going to be in any danger while you go to the bathroom or whatever. And playing alone not only teaches them independence but that they are ok without you right there at all times. 
Keep it up Mama!!

Answer

I think it's perfectly fine as long as you put your baby in a safe place and make sure he is not crying.

Answer

My daughter had gotten free play time since she was 4 months old. I also don’t hover; when she was a newborn I would sometimes let her play on her playmat while I was nearby but not engaging. Now she’s 9 months and plays well by herself. She has a playroom that she uses, knows how to get out her own toys, and feels free to explore. I don’t leave her unattended to make trouble but I’ll step out to grab a glass of water or blow my nose. You’re helping foster independence while still providing a safe and loving environment. I think it sounds like you’re doing great.

Answer

Firstly, of course you're not a bad mum!
If leaving your baby to play on their own for a while works for you, do it. You know what's best for your baby & yourself.

Answer

I’ve always been this way with my kids as well. As long as you know they’re in a safe space free from small things they can put in their mouth, there is no reason you have to hover every second of the day. I go to the bathroom by myself and leave my twins in the gated off living room where I know they’re safe. They’re 8 months old. I’ll even shower while they crawl around my bedroom. But a warning. Some people just parent differently and WILL judge you. Don’t take it personally. Just be reassured that you’re not the only person who isn’t a paranoid helicopter parent and try to be confident in your choices.

Bad mom?

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