Month after Month

Month after Month I get so sad ...i feel the cramps days ahead and i prepare myself to sit in the shower and cry and scream.month after month i feel like im not deserving of the one thing i long for so desperately ...rushing to the store to get that pain medication for the cramps and that junk food to soothe the depression because I failed once again trying to conceive.every month i think its my month and af arrives early or like clock work ..tonight im sad because this month was supposed to be the month of giving birth not trying for a baby .i had etopic pregnancy last year now i only have one tube left and i havent fell pregnant again since last may ...im approaching my fertile week and even though it proably wont happen i have a little faith to keep trying because. all i want is to see those two lines again and to have a healthy baby in my arms ...😭😭😭😭