**update**

well this has blown into something over the top. i took some of the advice given, and called my mom to see if she would reschedule and i would pay for the invitations and my mom FLIPPED OUT.

between it not being her fault my MIL didnt mention her vacation, to shes not paying for it, to me being so ungrateful, my head is spinning. i couldnt say some of the things people suggested (like refusing to go) for the reason she would explode and im not one for ultimatums.

i never wanted a big, expensive shower. i can be pretty shy and i have a tough time with all the attention, even if it is friends and family. i remember being so sore the day after my bridal shower from sitting super tense in this chair in front of everyone opening gifts. i just really struggle and this is making it even worse.

my moms 60th birthday was 2 days after this fight-that-never-should-have-been-a-fight. she cancelled the dinner plans my husband and i made for her and my dad and never responded to my happy birthday text or fb post. but she responded to my brothers and everyone else.

its insane how petty this is. she told me this was her “one shot” to throwing a baby shower (bc i have 2 brothers) and that im ruining it. it took everything in me to not say how she effed it up then or how would she feel if roles were reversed then because shes on the fathers side of the family. i just literally cant say anything or she will blow it out of proportion.

my MIL said this vacation was cancelled last year due to snow and she had to book it in either march or april or she would lose the trip. she said she didnt want to do anything in april bc thats when im due. i offered to pay for any difference in flight cost if she wanted to come home 2 days earlier. but she chose to keep her plans.

i seriously dont need this stress right now. and all of it seems to be for no good reason.

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my mother is planning my baby shower. shes really well intentioned, and this is her first grandchild so shes super excited, but i feel she really isnt considering my husbands family.

i told her i had no preference on anything except id like my shower sooner (february) than later (march). im due april 27.

shower date: march 18.

but whatever. i can cope.

except that my MIL is apparently going to be in florida! and she is NOT happy.

i said she should probably check with her and at first my mom was like maybe you should have 2 showers, our side/his side. and like no way. i dont even want one shower. registering for gifts makes me uncomfortable. i bought the expensive stuff myself because i knew what i wanted and didnt want it to burden other people.

its going to sound rude, but theres a class difference between some of my husbands family and mine. and my mom wanted a “classy” party. but i cant help that some of his family is nuts or low-class. theyre still his family and im not about to rock the boat. not worth it at all. and my mother saying that is tasteless anyway.

i know my mom feels guilty now for not checking with my MIL but shes also not going to reorder her invites and reschedule. she said my MIL should have checked with her before planning her trip and why is she going then anyway. i think she should have been a little more cooperative in this bc now.....what do i do? how do i make both of them happy?

so annoyed!