My boyfriend and I are talking about getting engaged and married within the next year or two. We don’t plan to live together until marriage so of course we talked about our plans for getting a house and all that. Well today his sister (who he’s just moved in with) was talking to me and mentioned that when we get married and move in she’s so excited to have me as a roommate. At first I thought she was teasing or something, but from our conversation I gathered my boyfriend had been talking to her about our future plans and she 100% believes she’s moving in with us. There’s no way that’s happening.

I’ll break my own heart and leave my boyfriend before living with any of his family. I’ve always made it clear that I dont think living with family is a good idea because it puts unnecessary pressure on the relationship. Plus his family are not people I can live with (I seriously wonder how he turned out the way he did coming from that family). His sister is living with him because she’s left her abusive boyfriend/drug addiction past and needed a helping hand. Fine. But I’m not having that kind of past brought into my home. I’ve already had to lock myself in the bathroom (totally naked because I’d been in the bath and I didn’t have a towel or my phone) once when I was at his place because her recent ex showed up with a gun. They had to move apartments because of him (she told him where she was staying even after promising she wouldn’t even talk to him) That’s not something I’m ok with having around me at all. Besides even if that wasn’t an issue she’s filthy and very lazy. Not someone I could easily live with

I thought my boyfriend knew my feelings about living with family once we’d married and moved in together. So I’m hoping she’s just assumed she’s moving in and its not something he’s told her. I’m just not sure if I should tell him about this? I mean we’re not engaged yet, just talking about it. But I know it’s something that we’ll be discussing before the wedding. So maybe now is ok? I just don’t really know how to tell him this without sounding like I hate his family. I don’t dislike them, I just have a very hard time getting along with them (we are very very different people) and I know that our relationship would truly suffer if we lived with them. Thank you!