So frustrated/discouraged😢

In September 2015 I miscarried with twins. Since then it seems as if the void in my heart just becomes increasingly worse each day that passes. On most days I go about my life and try to keep myself busy enough so that I’m not dwelling on the fact that my fiancé & I YEARN for a baby but are going on 8 Months trying to conceive. I try to remind myself that god has a plan for everything/everyone and my time to be a Mom will come and only then will I understand why it took so long to be blessed with a child, but it gets tough sometimes to keep that faith. I was due for AF 1/12/18 and it’s now three days later and I haven’t got it. My fiancé came home on his lunch break with a test, I think we were both SO sure this was it because I am never late.. well it was a bfn. I’m so sick of buying tests and them being negative and the gut wrenching, punch in the heart feeling that comes with it. 😭😭😭 I want to crawl under a rock and not come out at this point 😩