Anniversary coming up

I usually love celebrating me and my husbands anniversary every year. Last year WAS horrible and the worst year of our lives. Is it bad if I don’t want to celebrate it? It’s on the 27th of this month and I’m just heartbroken. The bad out weighed the good overall. Please pray for me! I cried so many tears and truly disliked how he admitted to me about refraining from sex or physical touch (if I don’t do certain things).