I’ve been living in a Hell I’ve created for myself by making this decision. I still just feel like I’ve made the wrong decision. I’m religious and..I didn’t even pray or anything before having it done. I had to wait 3 months. Basically border line to them not even wanting to do it at all. It may not seem like a long time to some, but in that 3 months...I feel like I fell in love with something so special inside that wasn’t even completely into existence yet. I didn’t understand how I could become so attached. But now I feel, it’s the worst, hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I dont feel like God will forgive me come time, and I still cannot find it in my heart to forgive myself. If anyone feels the same or has any advice..please. I hate feeling so alone. I feel like no one in my life could ever possibly understand how much that decision has affected me. It’s been since August. I still feel the same as I did the moment after I woke up from the surgery. I hate this. I don’t feel like myself anymore and I’m SO scared I will not be able to conceive again. I’ve caught chlamydia before..embarrassing enough..and now this. I feel like it’d be a well deserved punishment. And a fucking devastating one. It’s my biggest fantasy to just go back to that day and do things right. I’m sorry so negative and miserable sounding it’s just because I honestly am now. That was my first pregnancy ever. I had never had that feeling before. I feel so heavy constantly now on my chest. Like this emotionally is becoming physical and taking an actual toll on me.