I’m sooooo lonely

My husband passed away 2 months ago. I recently started receiving phone calls from a childhood friend who was also a long time crush. He moved to another state and has two kids. After talking and texting for a few days. I asked him was he seeing anyone he got an attitude and said he wasn’t sure. It turns out he married the mother of two kids. He claims that are now getting a divorce. But I think he’s lying because I found out he STILL lives in the same house with her. He only calls he me when she’s asleep or if at a friends house. I told him I don’t want to get caught. But I’m just soooooooooo lonely and needy right I still continue to talk and text him. I know I need to stop please don’t judge me. Like I said I’m lonely and very needy right now. I’m also horny and he said he wants to see me next week. What should I do?