Feeling defeated

I am feeling completely defeated. I can't seem to find a stable job, I'm a nanny. I just got told I'm getting let go when the family finds someone else because they want a live in. I'm behind on some bills and needed this job. I keep applying for full time positions in my other experience but I can't find anything there either. I only need $1,500 to make ends meet and can't even seem to do that. I've been slacking on studying because I've been so worried about money.

My boyfriend is not affectionate or loving at all. He never compliments me or calls me beautiful or pretty. He's always playing video games, which usually I don't mind, but when he doesn't give me attention, it's like I'm not a priority. I'm constantly afraid of getting hurt by him because I've had a couple red flags. He only is affectionate at night when we cuddle in bed before falling asleep. We are barely having sex and I think it's because he's watching porn again. I can't tell because he put a lock on his phone, didn't give me the password, and I feel awkward looking through his phone anyway so I never do. He doesn't make me feel loved, he rarely tells me he loves me first. I just feel myself putting up walls because I don't want him to break up with me and me get hurt. He wants me to move in with him and get on the same phone plan but still. I just feel defeated and i don't know what to do. I just want to finish school, have a stable job, and freaking be loved by my boyfriend. How hard is that?!