anxiety and nightly panic attacks

Hi guys, I would really appreciate some advice! I have some really bad stuff going on at work where I am sort of being pushed to my limits by the dean of the faculty I work at. I dont want to go into much detail but the guy is almost a psychopath and enjoys making my professional life as shitty as possible- stopping me from advancing in my track, spreading lies about me and my integrity and declaring my department is not benefitting the faculty and a money black hole. A part of my colleagues dont even say hello to me due to these things and Im being treated like a paria. I have been under tons of stress lately that I have somehow coped with and I managed to prove myself as a valuable member of our academic community. but..I lost a baby @19 weeks last year. My due date would have been next week and Im not in the best of places mentally. I have coped with that as well as I could and maybe if not everything would crash down around me it might have been different. my problem is now I have difficulties falling asleep and then getting up un the morning. i have nocturnal panic attacks where I wake up panicking I did something wrong. there are very clear scenarios that are entirely in my head, recurring night after night. I wake up suddenly with tachycardia and totally panicky that I have forgotten something catastrophic. I then need a few moments to wind down and then I have to reason with myself why my panic is not even based on a real event. I dont know what to do. going to a psychologist is out of the question for now. Does anyone have some advice?