stress level scared too

my stress level is so high. my boyfriend is so moody and mean to me, i have no one and no support. i really just need to vent. he was my ssoulmate and now he is just a jerk all the time putting me dowen etc. im so depressed i am having scary thoughts that i cant control, thinking ikm better off dead. trying to pull through for this baby. i need support. counseling for my insurance is a long waiting list.