How to tell your bf of one year you’ve been faking it

I feel really bad about it, but I’ve never been able to come from somebody else, and I get embarrassed or don’t want to hurt his feelings so I take it. I really try to concentrate but then I get distracted and feel bad because he’s always on top and I feel like I’m making him tired. It’s just getting frustrating for me because he’s never given and refuses to give me oral sex and/or finger me. He says it’s fine because his friends don’t do that either 🙄. He also insists on only having sex missionary but I want to try different positions. Whenever I surprise him and try to do doggy style he moves into a position that makes it impossible for him to get inside me so I just give up. I ask to use the vibrator while we’re having sex but he’ll either ignore me or pout and say “I’m not good enough?” I feel like a total ass because I’m lying through every orgasm and I want him to let me try these things so I can enjoy myself. Sometimes I can’t even feel him in me because I’m trying to hard to have an orgasm before he finishes. I just don’t know how to bring it up and scared he’ll be upset.