Miscarriage

I had a miscarriage on January 27th. I saw his heartbeat only two hours before. They said he didn't attach well and I bleed almost all 13 weeks of my pregnancy. I am so broken. He came out looking exactly like a baby. He had ten fingers and ten toes, a cute little nose and ears. How do I even begin to deal with this. I keep staring at his urn on our dresser and wishing I could just disappear.