never me...

Everyone is pregnant. Some with their second or more. now sis in law is pregnant again amd thinks its twins. my other sis in law also has issues with ttc and we've been in this somewhat together now her little sis is a druggie and runs off and leaves her twins so now I'm all alone again. hubby does his best but basically that means don't talk about it. avoid it until it happens....clomid didnt work. quitting smoking hasn't worked. dieting isn't working. giving up isnt working. its all I think about. even trying to become foster parents and adoption cant take my mind off of it and we live too far in the country for foster care to really let us get started.....faith is hard but trying to keep it....feel like I'm going into deep depression and loosing it. so they say to me you'll always have nieces and nephews. yes I know and I love them but really just want to go shut myself in a dark room and cry for days or longer....trying to get out of this rut...I'm lost