Antidepressants

So I have persistent depression and anxiety. I was on a antidepressant but stopped because I started birth control and I thought it was a bit much. But I see that I’m unmotivated, not myself, irritable, moody, sad and tired all the time. I honestly don’t want to take the antidepressant because I want to naturally fight depression but I can’t. I also don’t want to take medicine al my life. If I take a antidepressant, can I at some point stop taking it? I honestly don’t want to take it all my life. My depression is affecting my personal life, work life, and school life. I’m only 20 and I don’t want this to stop me from living my life and I also don’t want to pop pills all the time. I’m not constantly sad and depressed but majority of the time I am and I need a little push.