Help pleaseeee

Okay so i have two problems. One im a virgin but i also play with myself from time to time. When i do it, i can easily have an orgasm, when my boyfriend does it, i cant have one. I think its because im so used to myself doing it that i cant focus while he’s doing it. I also dont think i get wet enough. Is there any tips that will help with that. Yes i get turned out but i dont think im wet enough and i get self conscious about that. Okay two, i have smegma in between my labia folds and it is so hard to clean it. Its not a lot but its still noticeable and its very annoying. Im scared to try to really clean it cause i dont want to hurt myself and its holding me back from letting my boyfriend please me orally because i dont know how he would reaact. Please help