Never thought this would happen...

Sorry, very very long, had to get it off my chest. So i usually don't use this community to ran or whatever, I really enjoy the pregnancy and health talk and reading what other mom are going through. But it's just been too much lately. I'm a ftm, almost 29 weeks pregnant and I am the loneliest I have ever been in my life. Baby daddy and me are currently not speaking cause he was showing emotionally toxic behavior more and more over the last months, being mean to mean for no reason, calling me an asshole and then demanding sex, not helping out with the pregnancy but still expecting to be treated as this great father figure. At the same time his ex, who he has two kids with, kept stalking me and insulting me on social media to the point where I had to go to the police and get a restraining order cause it was making me sick. Whenever I asked, begged him to please help me, stand up for me, try to find a way with her to stop her from doing this cause I didn't want to get the police involved for the kids he would just say "I've asked her why she does it but what can I do, she's crazy". I get that he can't control her, but I mean he shared his life with this person in the past and it was just so hurtful to feel like I was on my own in this situation since she is HIS ex. It even went as far as him yelling at me that he was annoyed that I kept bringing this up (everytime a new profile would message me) and that I was now forbidden from talking about her cause I was getting on his nerves. He also just made me cry every single day lately (and no those are not just hormones) cause he was just showing no interest in getting his life together (he's currently out of a job and not trying to find a new one) but when I told him that it made me sad that I was doing everything and buying everything and that he could at least help me in my day-to-day life or carry the heavy stuff that I bought (changing table etc) he would always say nah he's tired or he'd just be out and not pick up his phone till 11pm but then get angry at me and yell when I told him how sad and lonely I felt preparing for OUR baby. Now last week he also had a meeting with his ex and a counselor cause she still wasn't accepting their separation, always telling everyone she was his wife (they were never technically married but always called each other husband and wife when they were together) still and I was just his slut. No afterwards he told me that they've spend their time there to discuss all the things I had to do like getting a paternity test cause she keeps insisting I must have slept with someone else cause I'm "such a slut" since I've had two previous relationships and she was a virgin when they got together. And apparently he was just sitting there listening to her as he always did and does and that just hurt me more than anything. She is crazy but I don't think it's too much to expect for him to stand up to her for me, but he kept saying he can't do that cause she's the mother of his children and he doesn't want to embarrass her in front of other people. Afterwards he called me, telling me all of this and I just flipped and told him if he wasn't gonna be in this family with me and our son 100% then I thought it best to cut the contact at the moment cause we deserve someone who is there for us. So now I'm just spending my days alone 90% of the time (I live alone and my family lives an hour away), looking at old pictures of us and wondering how we got from totally happy to this bs of a situation.

The reason I'm telling you ladies this is because none of my friends understand. I try to talk to them about how I'm feeling which is like complete shit and they just say yeah I totally understand and then talk about some guy they think is hot but they don't know if he's interested. Don't get me wrong, I love my girlfriends, but I'm the first one to be pregnant and no one really understand what it's like doing this by myself (even before I told him to get lost I was alone most of the time cause he always had better things to do like go to the gym or meet up with his friends). I am a hopeless romantic and the biggest family person, all I ever wanted since I was a little girl was to have a man and a home and a baby on the way. And now the time I've always imagined as the happiest time of my life is actually the loneliest time of my life. My friends love to talk about their own problems or go out drinking, but I feel like no one wants to listen to what I'm going through cause they just can't relate, so when I text them trying to share my problems I get no answers or something like 'yeah totally' 5 hours later. So I guess the point of this post (if you've made it this far) is just to share the stuff that is racing through my head 24/7 since no one else is listening. I'm counting down the days till my little man arrives cause I'm sure he'll be worth it.