Expectations of Nephew Living with Us


I'm a stay-at-home mom of a 19 month old. My husband's 20 year old nephew moved into our basement almost 6 months ago because his mother got them evicted from their apartment. He has his bedroom downstairs but we have share everything else in the house. We had to threaten to kick him out after a month because he didn't have a job and doesn't go to school. Finally he got his old job back working at the most 25 hours/week. He stays out all night and sleeps and/or plays videogames all day. Comes home wrecking of pot some days. Fails to help out with anything around the house or clean up after himself. He fails to lock our front door at times when he comes home very late at night. He was supposed to start school this past fall and this semester but failed to get everything in on time to get into classes. He has his grandmother (my mother-in-law) do his laundry even tho we have a washer and dryer at our house that he just needs to ask how to use but never did.

My husband and I are fed up and keep pushing for my sister-in-law to find an apartment (ha)! We thought he would be more responsible than this. My mother-in-law thinks it's fine that he works his current hours while we think he needs a full time job! He's not even in school!! She doesn't see anything wrong with him sleeping all day and/or playing video games. She also seems to brush off some of our other annoyances and says we need to tell him to do things. Am I wrong to be totally annoyed and to expect a lot more from him?? His grandparents give him some money when he asks for it to "borrow", when he should be working full time! I feel like he will never learn to be responsible for himself.

Am I wrong here? What his expected of a 20 year old? We don't even bother talking to my sister-in-law about this because she doesn't care and is staying at her boyfriend house.