My fiancé and I are expecting our first baby on May 2. This is the first grandchild on both sides, so needless to say our families are extremely excited. Fiancés mother has gone a little overboard though and I’m not sure how to handle it, and yesterday was a tipping point. For some examples, in the last couple months, she nearly doubled the list I gave to my mother for a shower to include 30 of her friends (most of which I could not name). I do not like being the center of attention and am dreading having this many people I don’t know well stating at me. She then bought some used baby boy clothes from a friend (we don’t know what we’re having) and has been telling everyone to not buy us any clothes because we already have enough (??? I have nothing other than the boy clothes she bought).
As for last night, Fiancés mother sent out a group text to us, as well as fiancés siblings and their SOs saying she booked a beach house 2 hours away (in a different state) for the weekend of May 18. She said she understands that we will have baby then so fiancé and I can “just make a day trip.”
Fiancé responded to her privately saying we would be unable to make it due to the baby being just born. She is now upset with us that we won’t even consider coming up for a day because she spent a lot of money on this trip and just wanted to be able to have a nice weekend with her family. Mind you, we did not ask her to spend money on a trip and had no idea she was even looking to book a family trip. Had we known, we would have been very upfront about the fact that we do not plan on traveling out of state with a newborn this summer, never mind possibly days after baby is blrn. We are first time parents and the idea of a 2 hr car ride, both ways, for a day trip away from our home and doctors, is extremely overwhelming for me. What if I have a c-section? What if baby goes 2 weeks past due date and we’re still in the hospital on May 18?
I know she is so excited to be a grandmother and I’m sure she thought it would be great to have baby’s first trip as a family, but I’m feeling stressed out that she thought we’d be up for a trip so soon, and I’m worried that she is going to do other things without consideration for our wants and needs when baby is born. There isn’t really a point to this post other than me needing to vent.