older child and ppd

I am a mother of three. after I had my now 2 y/o son I had ppd. I seeked counseling which helped me tremendously. Now I can feel it coming again. When I come home from work, I don't want to spend time with my children, I don't want to do hw or less figure out what the bb is crying about.

I feel very ashamed because I know that I need to do these things, because I want what is best for my kids. they are amazing. I do attempt to fake it til I make it, but I've notice my patience is dwindling. I don't have any more MH insurance. any help?