crazy month.

Rant: My fiancee and I moved in with my sister out in the country, in November to save money. January my fiancee told me he is not in love with me anymore and we broke up. We are still kind of living together. He comes and goes as he pleases. There is no fixing things I still love him, we have 2 kids and my oldest calls him Dad but he doesn't love me anymore hasn't for awhile. I have been talking to an old friend we dated a long time ago (15 years) today he decided to tell me that when he said he needed time and we took a break it was because he was going to propose to me. I blew him off and kisses another guy during that time because I was hurt thinking he broke up with me. Now not only am I upset because I lost the father of my children I've lost a friend too. Why do men have to be so complicated? I was thinking that maybe in the future when I start to feel like my self and I'm ready start dating that the old friend was a possibility, he still has feelings for me. But now he's pissed at me because of all these old feelings of hurt that I caused him. I didn't even know, I had no clue he felt that way. Right now I just need a friend not a new relationship I don't know why he expects me to just be like yes I love you too. Give me time to heal and mend myself, I'm seriously done with men. its so rediculous