I feel like sh*t

Girls I think i need help 😂

I've been with my bf for a couple of years and of course I love him but sometimes I have to picture my ex in order to cum..

Sound awful I know. My ex and I used to have sex every single day and it was amazing. He was a lot taller than me and he used to choke me and slap my ass and tell me naughty things in my ear with his deep voice like "you're my bitch" "i'll f*ck you so hard the whole neighbourhood is gonna hear you scream". Also, we were totally aggressive during and he would sometimes tie my hands and blindfold me. I remember this one time he tied my hands above my head and was on top of me pounding me really hard and when I was about to cum he would give me an evil smile and stop! When he finally allowed me to cum it was the best most explosive orgasm of my life! My leg were shaking for an hour! You get the point, the sex was B O M B!!!

I love my bf but we barely even have sex and when we do I sometimes can't get there but as soon as I picture my ex and the stuff we used to do I will cum so quick!

Am I terrible person?