Feeling like baggage

I’m 23, live with my Dad, Stepmum, half Brother and half Sister. My Dad and Stepmum got married when I was 7. My older full sister left years ago, she rarely has contact with us and my Mum died 5 years ago. I also work for my Dad and Stepmum in the family business.

Sometimes I feel guilty for being here. Like I’m in the way or a burden. Even my boyfriend doesn’t feel welcome at my house, I go to his twice a week as it’s easier and his family are amazing.

Everyone comments about me moving out (I am trying to save). My little sister has already planned her room layout in mine once I’m gone. They even show my houses for sale.

My stepmum is a very strong character and it’s her way or the hard way. She has always said “when you’re 7 I’ll talk to you, when you’re 17 I’ll have a conversation with you and when you’re 27 I’ll listen to you”.

She’s always big on FB about how amazing things are with the family. Her family. They go on holiday together, days out together. I stay at home and cat/house sit, not by choice.

I just feel like I’m the baggage that came with marrying my Dad.

I have stomach issues due to anxiety and easily get overwhelmed. I’m trying to work on it but it’s hard when home life is so belittling and I constantly feel like I’m disappointing people. My boyfriend knows I struggle at home and helps where he can.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I feel paralysed.