C Section weirdness..

So one of my biggest worries about giving birth was needing a c section...well when I had my son everything was perfect until they needed to speed things up because there was meconium fluid when they checked me...they started me on pitocin and when they did the contractions made my sons heart rate go down with each contraction...they took me off pitocin trying to stop the contractions from being so strong..at that point they monitored his heart for 30 minutes...it continued to go down with each contraction so the doctor told me I had to decide if I wanted to have a c section..of course I wanted to say no but the doctor explained that he was really big and he wouldn’t fit through my pelvis...she said I had time to decide what I wanted to do but of course I just told her to go ahead and do the c section because I didn’t want to lose my son due to his heart rate still going down...I felt so much pain throughout the surgery..afterwards I could not stop shaking and when I shakin I mean I looked like I was havin crazy full on seizures..I kept sayin I was cold but the doctors said it was normal to have shakes after giving birth...well I have had this weirdness ever since I had him..if anyone had said they had a c section I would still say they gave birth to their baby..but when it comes to me idek what I’d call it but it doesnt feel like I’ve given birth..like yes there’s a ton of pain but I don’t feel like I can say I’ve given birth since t wasn’t natural...I feel like I don’t have the right to say that I gave birth...but I also feel like I wanna die all the time but I can’t tell anyone because i am a minor I am living with my mom and she will judge me and I already hate myself as f is

Another thing..everything has been great but when I pee it feels like hell. Not like a burning but like my organs are just going to fall out. My entire pelvic area hurts when I go pee. That has only happened the last two days and I had him on February 23...is that normal??