I dont know how to feel 💔

My boyfriend just told me he doesn’t feel excited to come home from work (like he used to do). Which hurt me alot because only thing i do at home is waiting until he comes home.

We were talking and i felt like he had enough how i treat my surroundings at home. I have depression and anxiety and yesterday i got the news i wont be able to get the financial support i requested, which means i will be drowning in debt and i was feeling really down because we’ve been ttc and im scared sh!tless that we wont be able to afford it. Like, i was done, I didn’t want to live where i live anymore. Just done. My coping mechanism is going to sleep, even if i dont need to. And i just went under the covers and wanted to cry.

Ive been crying in the shower since this happened, and im not easily broken

He goes to his grandparents for a visit (few blocks away) and today he said he didnt want to come back home when he visited. It breaks my heart because i feel like its my fault. I cant help it when im depressed to just sleep. I am more than ever depressed because I feel everything is going in a downward spiral. I was so shocked when he said that because he never acted like this before. Im devastated 💔💔