Did my friends sexually abuse me?
This happened years ago but it still haunts me to this day I’m really embarrassed and ashamed and when I look back I feel dirty and disgusting I always had a wide group of friends a mixture of boys and girls and we used to always go over to each other’s house one day we was home alone in my friends house and she suggested we played a game she said that it was a new game that I’d never played before but everyone else had and I’d like it so I agreed to play. It was that you had to whatever the person next to you told you to do so I thought it would be stupid things like lick walls or eat gravy granuals because we was kids literally like 11 or 12. However when we started it wasn’t what I thought it was everyone went before me to show me how to play and it was sexual things my friends would get dared to like do blowjobs or masterbate in front of the group and they would do it and think it was funny I felt really uncomfortable and I said I wanted to leave but they told me I couldn’t leave and I had to do whatever they told me to and the doors was locked so I couldn’t get out anyway. I refused to do what they was telling me but they all started ganging up on me saying if I didn’t do it they would never speak to me again and I’d have no one and that they would turn everyone against me. After a while I agreed that alls I would do was kiss my friend I didn’t mean tongue kiss I intended on just a little peck and that was it but when I lent in my friends grabbed me and pinned me down and started lifting up my top and taking pictures of me naked and the girl started performing sex acts in me while they taped it. I hated every second and I felt so embarrassed and disgusting after it I was told if I ever told anyone they would put the video on Facebook and show my family. For whatever stupid reason I ended up staying friends with these people for about another 6 years but I think I just did that because I didn’t want to be alone and I was scared deep down I hated them for what they did. I always think back to that night and it disturbs me I think I was raped but I can’t tell anyone because I feel like they won’t take me seriously because it was a girl who did it to me so I just thought I’d vent on here