Wanting to break up

I want to break up with my boyfriend because he has been really controlling lately and all he ever does is get mad and make excuses why he he acts the way he does and last night he humiliated me and I can’t get past it but he doesn’t care how much he hurts me when he gets mad and yells or humiliated me he apologizes but continues to do it I want to break up with him but I don’t want him to start crying that’s not my intention to make him cry I just don’t feel happy anymore I honestly never broke up with someone before he is my first actual boyfriend I have been with him for 5 years since I was in high school so this is really hard I try to get the words out of my mouth but something stops me I don’t know what else to do at this point