Am I being dramatic?

Question

So, let me start off by saying me & my best friend Sarah have been close for 4 years. We’ve hung out almost every weekend for the past two years, we’ve spent birthdays & holidays together. 
About 6 months ago she got a new boyfriend. Once they started dating I stopped hearing from her as much, I stopped getting texts from her asking to hang out, I stopped getting responses to my texts.
I brought it to her attention in the beginning of December how I felt she was beginning to ditch me for her new boyfriend. She denied it and her reasoning was because he only would come home from college on the weekends to see her so she said if I wanted to hang out it’d have to be during the week. We live 45 minutes apart & she doesn’t get home from school until 4:30 and I have track practice every day after school until 4:30 as well so us hanging during the week is unrealistic. This ended up causing us to not talk all of December & January until i finally texted her trying to make up with her. Turns out she wasn’t bothered by our “break up” and didn’t even understand that I was upset. So we tried again to hang out & make time for each other. At this point her boyfriend completely lives with her Thursday-Monday and they work together. I would text her almost every weekend still attempting to make plans and she would STILL not have time for me. Although they live together 5 days out of the week and work together she would claim she didn’t see him enough. She hasn’t texted me first to make plans with me or try at all with me & I’m not sure if i’m being a bad or selfish friend or if I just need to stop trying so hard and move on from our friendship. I texted her Friday trying to make plans with her and she responded today *Monday Morning* saying she was “asleep” when I had texted her 4:30 on Friday afternoon and she then *sort of* invited me to her 18th birthday dinner this weekend. I’m not sure if I should even go because I’m assuming it’ll be just me, her, and her boyfriend. Let me know what you guys think about this whole situation, I need some lady advice. *Keep in mind that I also have a boyfriend but I still am able to maintain a healthy friendship & make time for her*

Answer

Everyone is different. She may just be trying to cultivate this relationship and possibly even falling into a sort of a codependent relationship. It happens. Real true friends can go long periods of time without talking to each other and then pick right back up where you left off last. I have had some friends that I’ve been friends with for damn near 25 years. If I were to get mad at them and break up with them every time they wanted to cultivate a new relationship, I wouldn’t have any friends today. I think that you need to give your friend some space and when things start normalizing in her world, she will start reaching out to you again. I don’t think you need to move on from the friendship, I just think giving her space would be fine. And if you do grow apart because of it, then so be it. In the meantime, just occasionally send her a message that says you’re thinking of her and if she ever wants to hang out to let you know. And then just live your life normally. I guarantee by the end of the year, she will be at a place in her relationship where she doesn’t need to spend so much time with him anymore. I would not take it personally, but try to be flexible about it. Now if she starts making plans with you and then blowing you off for her boyfriend, that’s a different story. I think you should go to her birthday dinner and don’t assume anything because assuming is just what you think and what you think is not always correct.

Answer

I don’t think you are being dramatic or selfish.  It’s normal for your friend to want to spend LOTS of time with her SO but she should also make some time for friends.  The way I see it, you’ve reached out and tried to hang out with her multiple times but she didn’t make the effort.  I would just give her some space and focus on YOU and other ppl who do give you their time of day.  If she wants to spend time with you she will make the effort and if she doesn’t then maybe it you are better off without that one sided friendship.  Attend her birthday party and have fun...let her know that you care for her.

Am I being dramatic?

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