So I’m confused

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years now not counting breaks we had. We’ve both been insecure with lots of trust issues (pornography issue, meeting a girl behind my back 2 months into the relationship) and me falling in love with other men on their traits. He’s 21 and I’m 20. He treats me so well but a lot of the times I feel like I need to be his mother to tell him to stick up to his family, wash his face and general hygiene. I get so tired of being a robot and him talking to me so generic. We talk about everyday and hang out once a week or 3 times a week for only 30 mins to go to the gym, I NEED ADVICE. WHAT DO I DO?! I have strong feelings but I’m scared we won’t work out or I’m afraid I keep falling out of love... I’m scared that he’s not going to mature... and please be serious and not deprecating. Thank you