Can we work in the long run?

I am dating this guy I am really close with as we have been friends for more than a year before we got together and we realized we really match in bed but when a friend asked me yesterday what we have in common I didn’t know how to answer. Good sex? Friendship?

I make my lifestyle, diet, health a priority, not obsessed with calories or anything like that but love cooking, exploring new recipes, avoiding crap food. He is totally the opposite, has been trying to quit smoking “for me” but just can’t seem to let go of it. I think he even stopped trying now. Treats his body as his last priority, eats frozen pizzas and whatever I cook. We eat out a lot but if I cook I cook for him too as I want him to eat good from time to time but it also makes me feel like the traditional wife from the 50s which I hate the feeling of. He forced himself to make stuff a few times when he was still trying for me but generally couldn’t care less about it. I always imagined cooking together with the guy I’m with. It really bothers me. I told him once but I am not pushed into cooking so it’s my choice and after his 14 h day and us living together now I cannot just eat myself and let him defrost pizza.🤷🏼‍♀️ I have no idea how to include him, have him take one day at least, as his work hours are crazy now. On weekends we eat out.

Besides that, before us he had only one relationship of TEN years! His whole young life. I feel I’ll never be able to compete with that and I’m fearing he’s not mentally over it. She left him for another guy. It was 4 years ago but he keeps these things in the house that I just found out were from her but have known since I met him it’s the few things he has always been obsessed with. Like would never throw, replace etc. I addressed it this weekend and he told me - well you cannot replace her, it was 10 damn years, what can I do? I obviously got really upset, he later came over and hugged me saying- let’s not ruin what we have because this is really good, and I hugged him back. Not sure why I did that because now I keep thinking about what he told me.

We have had really good times, he mentions marrying me and always says he loves me and is really there for me emotionally and in a lot of ways. I love him, I just fear our lifestyles and views on life and future goals are very different. I’m not sure those relationships last or if people overcome these fundamental differences ever.

And I need to make sure I am on the same page with the guy, that we are doing really well and going strong before I step into marriage. My parents got divorced for these differences and I think it has to be discussed prior to any commitment. It shouldn’t be this hard.. should it?