Let me go

Ok so, on December 18 2017 a person who inspired me and helped me hang on when I was the worst time of my life, committed suicide. So anyway, his birthday is on April 8 (a few days away) and I'm thinking of resting, in another type of way (if you know what I mean) its been hella hard, and the reason why I'm still here is because of him. I don't want to do that to my loved ones, but I cant go on any longer. Can someone help me?