Please help!

So my boyfriend and I have been trying to have sex but he literally won’t fit inside me. I don’t know if he’s too big or I’m too small but it gets to the point where it hurts both of us. I make sure that I’m superrr wet and turned on before and we still have no luck every time we try it’s like a let down and we just want to give up. We do a ton of foreplay so I don’t see what the problem is. Should I just rip my hymen myself? He says it hurts him really bad like he can get the tip in but not anything else and he says that when he looks at his member it’s white like when you press on your skin and see it return to its normal color. I just don’t know what to do. Please help!

Sorry I would like to stay anonymous! But yes we have tried lube and condoms and without both!