Losing the baby i so dearly wanted

me and my partner had just found out that we were expecting and no sooner had we found out, and started getting excited about the baby i started bleeding. I called the EPAU and they said there was nothing they could do as it was so early (only 5 weeks) and to test in 2 weeks time. i tested today and it was negative. To make the hurt worse for me my cousin just announced shes pregnant. I want to be excited for her but im still grieving and upset for the loss of my baby. i feel awful i feel this way, but this baby was so desperatly wanted, even at 5wk gestation