Just Need To Let It Out


I suppose there isn’t really a point to this post but I really feel like I need to vent because I’m hurt and in need of advice on how to get over somebody. I’m not really sure why I’ve been so hung up on this guy anyway but I legitimately feel heartbroken. I never went out with him, I had strong feelings for him but he’d just got out of a four year relationship and wasn’t ready for commitment again. (I didn’t know this until I developed feelings for him otherwise I never would had got involved). I’d never properly had a guy give me attention before him. Despite the fact that when I told him I had feelings for him, he wanted us to be ‘just friends’, things developed between us. I let him take my virginity. It was totally unexpected. He was a lot older than me and I was flattered that somebody of that age who was also incredibly attractive wanted anything to do with me. He didn’t use a condom and at the time, because I was drunk, I went along with it and asked him to pull out. I had a pregnancy scare and had to get the morning after pill. It was all totally new to me because I’d never had sex before, it was terrifying to be honest and I resented him for being so casual about my anxieties. One day, I let my anger out on him, blocked him and we haven’t spoken since. I regret that now. It wasn’t his fault and he had no idea I was a virgin. All I want is to see him and speak to him, for him to hold me in his arms. I can’t focus on anything anymore. I just want to forget about this person but I can’t because even still, regardless of everything that’s gone on between us, I still really like him. Help me move on someone?