Not a swallower?

So this is kinda explicit in a way I guess? But I do not enjoy swallowing my boyfriends cum. I love him to death, I love making him cum and all that jazz leading up to it but I cannot being myself to keep my mouth there and let it go in my mouth... I get really sad about it a lot and get really self conscious and I feel like something is wrong with me for not liking it.

I don’t even like the smell, and he’s not dirty or has a bad diet or anything. I just get a grubby feeling in my stomach and mouth after I do. My tongue always tingles and feels weird and my stomach gets hot. We’ve been together for 4 years and I stopped swallowing at around year one.. lol.

He has been the only guy I’ve been with so I very much lack experience with other men so lol. Im just very curious to find out if I’m like one of the very few who feel this way or if a lot of others feel the same to you know. I’m open to advice and to people who feel the same. I just feel kind of crummy for feeling this way about it. I almost feel like I’m not sexy enough when I avoid it and let it get all over my hands.. 🙁