Loosing my V but unconfident

Hello

I'm 14 about to be 15 in June. next summer I'll be 16 which is when my mom's putting me on birth control and me and my boyfriend wanna have sex. he'll be 16 when I turn 16. his birthdays July. but anyways I'm not very confident and i try to loose wait and i see results but end up with greasy fingers. what should I do?