ok i just need to rant. im sorry this is going to be a long rant. so 4 years ago i meet this guy. lets just call him D. everything was good with the relationship. then 2 years later after meeting D it went all down hill. he got us in to bad living situations. then to were he would spend the money he made all on new tools, truck. and i had to pay all the bills, food, rent. and had to borrow money from family to survive. then we had to live with his aunt for a couple month's. because he tried to run someone over with his truck and went to jail. witch was not long. he went to court 3 times and he pleaded no contest i think its called. witch he did not have to spend any more time in jail had 40 hours of community service, and pay a fine. then he comes home. witch 3 weeks later i find out I'm pregnant. i tell D I'm pregnant. and he says o it's not mine, i can't have kids. you cheated on me. witch my thinking is there is no excuse to cheat. just dump the guy and move on. there is no need to cheat. then he finds a place that is torn up. and he says i can fix it so i stupidly believe him, knowing how lazy he is. and move there. then it hardley got fixed. no toilet, shower. we had to pee and poop in a bucket. so then at 3 months pregnant i left him. after that he starts texting me saying your not going to keep this kid and ect... then in oct the baby is born. i stupidly send him pics and update D on how are baby is doing. then he wants me to come up were he is, so he can see are baby. witch he lives 15 hours away. i told him no we can meet half way. witch he made excuses why he couldn't meet halfway. and started a lot of drama. then he calls dcfs on me. saying i do drugs, don't change my kids diaper, that I refuse to feed the baby, i get drunk to were I'm not coherent. and ect.. then i file for custody. that the dcfs worker told me to do. then when it cames time for court i freeze up. so the judge dismiss the file. so then we just try and work things out on are own. witch did not work. it was his way or the high way. witch i said no way. then he calls dcfs on me again. saying some more stupid far out there lies. then a couple months later we make up and paln to meet up. witch i told him if he pays my way up to were he is at. i will go take are baby to vist him. then he goes on about how he has changed and wants me and the baby in his life and so on. by now are baby is 1 years old. and i say ok i will stay for 4 weeks and see how things go. so i get down there and D is living with his parents. then a week after being at his place. him and his parent's keep nagging at me about staying. so I'm like ok fine. so i do then i end up getting pregnant again. before i can leave him. witch i wanted to leave him because i saw he has not changed but has gotten wores and wont help me with are baby. he works for him self doing odd jobs and harldey gets work. so he is at home a lot. and then we get are own place. and things get way wores he starts to drink do drug's. and does not want anything to do with are kid. witch before he was whining and making a big fuss about. so i talk to my mom and i make up a store so i can get form pont a to point b were my mom is. with out him stoping me. he would not have let me leave. witch i tell D i have to go to point b to see my mom that is sick. and i tell him when I'm leaving. so then 2 days before i have to leave dcfs shows up at are door and he is not home just me and the baby are home. and right off of what the worker said that was reported. i new it was D that called them. like i have not even left yet. and he does not know I'm not coming back he calls dcfs on me thinking they would not let me vist my mom. so i confront him and he had a smile on his face. then when i told him that they are going to close the case and i can still go see me mom he was mad. then the day comes for me to leave. so i get a ride from his dad to the bus stop and i get on the bus and not look back. but now I'm just hoping he does not call dcfs. and that he does not try to retaliate. he can get violent. there is more of the store of him not being a good persion but its just to much. o and before i left he gets mad at me for some reason i don't remember he gets mad at me over stupied stuff. he says I'm being crazy and he wiashes i go back to the nut house, or just kill my self. and that I'm not going to keep are kid and he had filed for custody all ready and that welfare office is on his side. witch i know he was just talking out of his ass he does a lot. he's a patch of clogical liar.sorry i dont know how to spell it or how to pronounce it for my phone to spell it for me. and he is really nasty and dirty. he hardly takes care of him self. he dose not wash his hands at all, bearly takes a shower once a month. i know then why were you with him. idk really why i was with him or agreed to go back with him. and the hole nut house thing. it is in my past.i had some issues form when I was 13 to 21. witch i am 29 now. and he knows about my past. but i have not had a problem for a long time and i don't hurt others and i have not hurt my self in years many many years. and i would never ever hurt are kid. i am still in therapy and will always be in therapy. i feel so stupid and dumb for believing D and his family that he has changed. and for getting pregnant angain. and for not leaving sooner.