I just want to stop...

I just want to stop feeling him on my skin like come on it's enough that I can't be in a dark room without having a panic attack and I don't get to have a peaceful night of sleep. It even suck that I cannot be around to many people or be hugged by the men in my life that would never see me in a romantic way. I cannot walk down the street without thinking he is around the next corner or I can't see a white van or any kind without thinking it's him. All I really want is to stop feeling his hands or lips on my body every day and night