PND & anxiety

I am a mother to my beautiful little man who is nearly 20 months old i never knew i would be diagnosed or that you could be diagnosed so far along but,

A month after his first birthday my mum thought i had the baby blues i went through a lot of childhood stress bullying at school all my life and bullying at home my step father was mentally abusive i dealt with it all somehow with my supportive wonderful friends and family.

Years on i went on to meet my childhood sweetheart who i have been with nearly 10 years and married nearly 2 we had out little man September 2016 my pregnancy was tough though my partner went through mental health tried to commit suicide twice ended up in hospital a few times due to overdose and a lot more happen (not going into detail) he sorted himself out got help and now is a much better person but i feel i did not enjoy my first pregnancy as much as i should have done because of all the stress.

I became very protective of my son and still am i dont want anyone to take him out not even my partner although i do try and my partners family either they say they dont understand but dont need to understand but thankfully backed off a bit with trying to take him out and butting in as much which i found very hard (although i do still struggle at times) my mum understands a lot though

I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder and PND just after my sons first birthday i did not realise it could come on so far along but it can i also thought it was about not bonding with your baby which i am the total opposite

But i am getting help and im on medication i had my implant removed to also try and help with my mood

I am not posting for sympathy but to say there is help out there do speak out and seek help do not suffer in silence, i never understood anxiety until i was diagnosed i thought my husband was attention seeking at times which makes me now feel like a horrible person but now i understand fully

i went through a tough time but came out the other side and i love my son dearly and husband dearly they are my world

💕