The Daily Struggle

Not sure if any other moms feel this way or it's just me, but during the day, when my son is awake, I enjoy moments here and there (like when he will actually sit in my lap and cuddle) but for the most part I'm completely drained and can't wait for bed time to roll around. He's 14 months, a picky eater, picky about his activities, can't decide if he wants me to hold him or wants to get down and play, it's always constant and it's always on me, even when my husband is actually home.

When he's finally asleep, and everything is quiet, I miss him like crazy. I sit there going over everything I could have done better. I worry that I didn't give him enough love or attention or that I could have gone ahead and given him that treat he was asking for and even though I know I've fed him, I worry that it's not enough. I have to fight myself to not go wake him up for cuddles or to spoil him after he's gone to sleep. It's a constant battle between wanting bedtime to be here and regretting wishing the day away.